aquarium fish fish tank fish watching

D = R * T

Formula For Life

There must be some formula for life, that makes sense. The above formula is for calculation of Distance. The rate your moving, (R) times the time (T) equals the Distance traveled.

Seems, it doesn’t matter what I write, no one gives a damn. Maybe there is another problem; maybe, something I’m aware of and have not been able to deal with yet? It seems dealing with some of these problems is tough. How does one deal with life?

Never Cat

Not to be mean, but there is something that needs said. I don’t ever want to be a cat. Being a dog would be interesting, but please never a cat. That might really bum me out. It would not be very interesting. Not unless there were huge amounts of cat nip involved. But what good would come from that? Not much.

Really after thinking about it a long time, it would not be good to be a cat. Some people may enjoy the job, and be grateful for the time. I would like to spend my time in better pursuits.


After thinking about it a long time, I wonder if my life has any redeemable qualities what so ever? It seems, the very life I have lived, is entirely based upon a lie. This whole life, is because of a lie I told before I was born. Someone said it wasn’t really forgivable. I would like to know what to do about this problem? Is there a solution to make it better? I would like to know!

Seems, this lie I told, wasn’t that bad, but it does seem to have bothered a lot of people. No one to spend time with me. No one to talk with at all. And what is the problem, that no one reads my work?

It feels like my life, and my work, are worthless. I’m not treated like I matter in this world. They act, as though my work is worthless. Despite the time, and effort I’ve spent working on these projects.

It would have been nice, if some of my effort would see results while I’m still living. Doesn’t seem, any of it has been even noticed. Pity! It would be nice to make life better for everyone. But how?

I would like to set right the wrongs. It does seem to be somewhat impossible. But all things are possible, just not everything is probable. This is one of those things, that could be possible, given the right conditions. It would be good to make it right with the people that matter.

Be A Good Doggie

Good doggies are good doggies. Never really met a dog that there wasn’t something good about them. After thinking about it, I’ve seen that almost any dog will repent. However, in all my days, we have never seen a cat repent. That would be something. Not sure I like the cats much. A good doggie is a good doggie. They will at least repent from their sins.

Seems this lie that was told, wound up putting me in the body of a cat. But, I assure you; I repent. Not sure how to make it right at this point, but if something can be done about it; we will do what is possible to make it right. Might have to die, to make it right; but at least things will be better.

No one to talk with about this stuff. They don’t listen, they don’t think, and they don’t want to talk about anything with me. Something has to change, and right quick. Need some good advice, because my options are not looking real good at this point.

Seems, there isn’t a friend in the world. Pity, they would have done well to know me. Then at least, they could say they knew me, once upon a time, before the truth came to light. Maybe, they remember me well from those times? Someone should!

fish fish tank fish watching

Miscellaneous Musings

Love Matters

In times like these, love matters a whole lot. Tough times we are living in. People are unhappy, and hurting. Love matters a whole lot. You have to be kind in thought and deed. Never wish others harm, nor yourself.

It helps if you can show love, by doing something nice for others, or being there for them. Sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them. It would help an awful lot if you actually heard what they say and understood it.

Kindness is not over rated. Because if kindness becomes a luxury good, who could afford to continue to live in this world? Seems, people have forgotten, how to be really kind. That is a lesson they are going to have to re-learn from the ground up.

Be kind, doing good things for others. It isn’t wasted effort, nor is the act worthless. It has some value; as the sun continues to shine, do what you can for others.


It seems they continue to punish me, using isolation as a weapon to hurt me, to force my hand into doing what they want. No one will talk with me, or spend time with me. No one answers my calls, and the internet seems completely worthless trash. No one writes me, no one reads what I write. I feel useless, and worthless. It seems my services here are not wanted, nor needed.

The isolation seems to be punishment from God, because everyone is ghosting me. They don’t answer email, they don’t talk with me. They don’t answer my questions, or spend time with me. Why do they want to hurt me this way? I’m not really doing anything that they could hate me for? Am I? Seems, there is no way to explain it, you would have to live my life to understand it!

The problem is, I’m bored. No projects I have worked on have seen success. Nothing is working out, seems my life is junk. I’m treated like there is no value in me. You know, when people like you, they tend to see the best in you. When they don’t like you; they see the worst. Tired of the fact, the good qualities I do have are being treated like its rubbish. No one to talk with about anything. Pity; if they knew me, this life would be different.


The world, it seems is starving to death. People have forgotten how to be kind, what is involved in doing what is best. They don’t even listen anymore. They have ears; yet, they fail to hear. Something is wrong with the way things are. I’m not sure how to reach their hearts and minds at this point. I’ve about given up on the human race, because they act as through they are deaf and blind. The world, is going to get awful hungry for something to eat. We wanted a lot better than this.

Kindness should never be a luxury good. Pray, that the world will change in time; before it’s too late. The world needs people that care, and that will listen to each other. Please start thinking, and listening to each other. Life has to get better.

fish fish tank fish watching

One Day At A Time: Choose Wisely

Choices To Make

Some people are saying: “One day at a time.” In an effort to bring some things to the light, I have my two cents to input on the matter. It seems, there are ways to live, some are better than others.

Moving Mountains

When moving mountains, it starts with moving small pebbles, very likely one day at a time. By carrying away small stones, a mountain can be moved over many years. It doesn’t make the process any easier, but it can be done.

Likewise today, if you want to move a mountain, you need to start small, and work on a daily basis at moving small pieces. Then, over time; you can have made a real impact.

Destruction Of Your Life

There is another way one day at a time can be used. They can wear you down, break your spirit, and destroy you; all one day at a time. While, you may not like that, they may enjoy it a lot.

So really you have to choose wisely, what kind of days you want to have. Because if everyone is taking things, “One day at a time.” then they are either working to move mountains, or destroy you. Sometimes, you have to be aware of what the motives are behind their actions.

Choose Wisely

Don’t know about you; But, I want my life better. Seems, this one day at a time, has all been working against me. They are using it to destroy me. No one is building me up, but they are all holding me in utter contempt; as though, I’m not worth shit to them.

So what course of action can I choose? Seems, they want a warm sack of shit and nothing more. They hate smoking, they hate drinking Sprite, they hate tattoos. They don’t want you to think for yourself, they hate the very idea of free will; unless you choose what they want for you. That is the only condition they have for letting you have free will, is if you choose what they want from you.

Nothing else will be successful. And you wonder why nothing works out. The game is rigged. They have it setup so no one will be successful. They would never like that anyways. They only love you if you choose what they want you to choose. It is all based upon the conditions they have set, long ago.

The Truth

Work to move mountains, despite the fact they are working one day at a time to destroy you. That is one option. There seems to be no real answer to my questions, I’ve never seen the mountain that needs moved. Or for that matter, if it even needs to be moved. Maybe, we should just make a path up the mountain? That would be best, because if you are working to move a mountain, you are likely wasting your time, and expending a lot of effort on something fruitless. However, if you are making life better for everyone, that is the only thing that is worth a damn. Do what is best for everyone.

Don’t let them destroy you, for something stupid. You have to be smarter than that. Have some patience young Jedi, be wise, buy out the right time, for doing what is best. Take care of yourself, and those around you. To some degree, you have to be wise. Learn from my mistakes. You know?


Various Musings

The World Is A Prison

Seems to me, this world is a damn prison. No friends, no job, no girlfriend. No one to talk with. Bored out of my mind, and if you knew the cost of cigarettes, you would be shocked to the core.

This cage, the way things are. I’m dealing with it, best I can. I have Bach, and the fifth. There is some comfort to be had, if you like cigarettes, and coffee. There is music here, but it really lacks of intellectual conversations.

I’m bored with the way things are. Not able to change my life for the better. Every project I’ve taken on, has failed. I’ve not seen one success in anything I’ve done in five years. Maybe, much longer than that.

The Matrix & Control

The matrix is about control. They use illness to manipulate and control people to do or not do what they want. It’s about power, and control. Pure and simple. They want to take your freedom away from you. They don’t believe in free will. They will choose for you. And most people lack the ability to choose for themselves.

The control, is such that people would never be able to rebel. Not in any meaningful way that would have any effect. They would take you out. Resistance is futile. They hate sprite, they hate cigarettes. They hate tattoos. They don’t believe in letting you live. Think you have free will? Think again. It is only the illusion of free will. The choices have already been made for you.

Fake People

The world today seems chock full of fake people. They talk about fake shit, and make fake friends, and talk about movies with fake people in them. They don’t like real stuff. Pity!!

It seems, these fake people are getting more and more like zombies these days. They don’t think, they don’t listen, they don’t understand much you say. They have their own opinions, and they will be the first to shut you down, if you disagree with them. More control from the matrix. They have programs that are here to make you think like they want you to think.

These fake people, are about control, and manipulation. They will control the conversation, and manipulate you into thinking like them. That is what they want. Friends it seems are a burden.

Wanted life to be better. Feeling like, damn it. Tired of the cage, the matrix, and fake people. Something has to change. Maybe, the world will end, and we will all get what we want?

Shell Shock

Seems, the world is screwed. What goes today? How are you living? Do you have a creative life? Are you happy like the way this is? What do you think about on a regular basis? Are you in a loop? Maybe, this blog post will break your bad voodoo, and make you feel better?

aquarium fish fish tank fish watching

Dead End

This, is not my last post. It is however a point, that has seen the dead end finally reached. The world sucks, people don’t care any longer, and no one wants to be friends.

The world is running out of supplies, toilet paper is low, people have less patience, and more hostilities than you can shake a stick at. People don’t communicate any longer, they talk “To” each other like everyone is a damn idiot.

Dead End

Personally, I say good riddance. This world has been on a burner for so long, the kettle boiled dry, and burned a hole in the bottom of it. Seems, someone is going to have to mend the pan, or find some new way to repurpose the world into something more useful.

I’m not sure there will be much use for the way things are. Seems, no one listens, no one thinks, and most people are too unhappy to care. It is going to boil down to food, clothing, and shelter. Maybe you will have an education in life.

The problems of this world, it is sordid. Who wants to put up with this miserable existence like it is? People don’t listen to each other anymore. Everyone is tired of the talk. We need some actions that speak louder than words.


The first world problems have left an intellectual problem of having to talk about nothing, as though it were really something. People don’t like it when you talk about things that matter. Everything depends on what their opinion is, and if they disagree with you, they are done on every level.

People used to have some backbone. People used to be stronger. The world has bred weakness, and impurity into people’s lives. Seems, you can no longer trust anyone these days. Every fiber that once mattered has been torn asunder.

This seems to be the end. One can hope, that the kettle that boiled dry, and burned a hole in the bottom of it; will be made good use of, maybe for something other than fodder for bullets.

People have to start to care again. Too many people, like to have their ears tickled. They want to hear exactly something that is less real, less true. That seems to make them happy. Maybe, they are fake people? Real people, like to hear the truth!

Some Hole

What we face, is more of an existential existence crisis than ever before. People are fake, they talk about fake stuff, and have the nerve to be upset if you want to talk about anything more important.

They don’t listen, they don’t read. They don’t think. It is like a program that is running in the matrix, and people don’t have the good sense to turn it off. Pity!

The matrix is about control. And they are willing to control you, right down to having your mind programmed for you. Maybe, you having free will was too much to hope for, because they want to take that away from you too!

Sometimes, we have to think. And live. I’m tired of the world like it is. I’m not afraid of the change that needs to be made, what I’m really afraid of, is that things will stay the same. That will never do under these conditions. Wanted my life to be better. Sometimes, change is good. The world, it seems has reached a dead end. Like some col-de-sack that people keep going around and around on. I have to wonder, if people ever get tired of the ride?

Find A Safe Place To Land

My advice: Keep your life simple. Find a nice safe place to land, and keep yourself put in place for a while. Endure what you must, take the enjoyment you can find from being alive, and try to make the world a better place through being kind, and respectful of others.

Find a safe place to land, and make the best of it. Do what you can to help others through the muck, and be a helping hand to those you can help along the way. Do what you can, to make life cool for someone else.


The world has not done well for itself. There is a lot of failure in this world, and many have lost the vision of having something better. It helps if you can think past the TV, and the latest trend. Have some common sense, and start to see things for what they are. Find out what has real value, and then make use of it. Find a safe place to land, and help those you can along the way find shelter.

fish fish tank fish watching

Does Solitary Confinement Mean The End? A Creative Outlook!

What does living look like for you? One can hope, you have enough food to eat, and have clothing on your back. With a roof over your head, and clean water to drink?

How many people are existing in isolation these days? Google says, 36% of Americans feel the effects of isolation and loneliness. That is no real surprise, with the pandemic, and current state of affairs; much has changed in the world.

Solitude vs. Isolation

If you find yourself in a good situation being alone, and have chosen to seek your own company for a period of time, this is called solitude. It can be very comforting, and even relaxing.

However, there is another type of being alone, it is called isolation. This would be situations that are not of your own free choice. Sometimes, in isolation; you can find some solitude. It however doesn’t feel the same when there is no relief.

How one can make the best of it, is by making good use of your time. This is important, make your alone time better by making very good use of your time. If you spend your time alone watching tv, or playing video games, are you really making good use of your time?

A Box Of Solitude

Solitude can be wonderful. There is some good that comes from it. When you have the choice to be alone, and can make good use of your time; it can be very enjoyable.

The view you set before you determines how enjoyable solitude is. A vast valley set before you can mean great freedom, and much enjoyment. However, sitting in an office with no windows doesn’t offer the same freedom.

Make a habit of having a clear view of the moon, and spend time outside.


If you sit indoors much of the day, only having four walls of horror doesn’t really make long term solitude very enjoyable. There would not be much difference between that, and a prison cell. You have to change your views to something more enjoyable. Get outdoors.

Solitude can be very rewarding. When used correctly. The point here to take into consideration, is using it properly. If you use your time to make yourself better, to build yourself up, and make life better for yourself, those are win win type situations.

Much can be learned. You can teach yourself new things. If you make good use of your time, you can read, and learn to paint. Much can come from it. Its only limited by what you can imagine doing with your time. Possibilities are endless.

An Isolated Toad

If you are isolated, you may turn into a toad. Well, not literally, but so to speak. If you use the time you are alone, to tear yourself down, and make life woe, doom, and gloom; it’s not going to get better.

You have to turn the situations around, make good use of your time. The better use of your time you can make, the better off you will be. Develop new skills, and learn all that you can.

Don’t use the time, to tear yourself down. That is not healthy. There needs to be a better way to use your time. Seriously, unfuck yourself. The time is now. Don’t wait. Friend, see to it.

A Mixed Bag

Sometimes, we have a mixed bag of solitude, and isolation. In some situations, it may be healthy to seek new friends. A man should have some friends in his life. It is not good to be so alone, that no one in this world knows you. You should have a circle of people, that know you. It is just not healthy to be so alone, and exist like a ghost in this world. That is not a wise course of action. Choose your friends wisely, and keep some at hand.


Make good habits. Excellence is by choice. Choose to make the best use of your time, regardless if you are seeking solitude, or isolated. The better use of your time you can make, the better the quality of life you will have. Who knows what you will discover? You may learn something new, that changes the world!

When isolation feels like punishment, and you’re not able to change it; there is a problem. Seek the advice of others to help you.

fish fish tank fish watching

Questions For You!!

I want to ask a few questions of you. I hope, you will answer them.

1. How are you living?

How are you living these days? Do you get enough outdoor time? Are you physically active to an extent that your physical needs are being met?

2. Do you exercise your creative muscles?

Are you being creative? Do you live a creative life? Are you doing anything that helps you? Is it respected?

3. How are your relationships?

Do you have healthy relationships? When you talk, do people hear you and listen to you and what you are trying to communicate? What kinds of things do you talk about with others? Are you respected?

4. Do you find the 21st century interesting?

A lot of people, think this is the end all be all to life. Do you want more than this? What don’t you have currently that you would like to have that doesn’t currently exist?

5. Does anything I have asked make sense to you?

I wonder if you can answer these questions?

Something to think about:

When was the last time, you spent an hour thinking everyday for months on end in meditation? What do you think about yourself, your life, and the people around you? Can you get out of your own head? How?

fish fish tank fish watching

Something I want. . .

Life has been kicking my dog. There is something I want, and it needs to be solved. There are some people from my life, that I want to hear from. People from this life, that knew me. I want to see if anyone will call me up, and talk with me.

I’m bored, and lonely. I wonder if anyone that knew me will ever call me up for a conversation? Who would I hear from, if anyone? Seems, I’ve been forgotten in whole. Not any friends really on facebook. No one writes, everyday my inbox is empty.

That instagram account looks like a ghost town. It is embarrassing because no one likes my photos, and I have to archive them because of it. Seems, there is not a friend in this world. Not one.

So prove my wrong, if you knew me from this life, call me up. Send me a text message. I would like to hear from you. I could use someone to talk with that will talk, “With” me. You may not have answers to my questions, but it would be nice to hear from you.

Not much going on in my life. Living like damn zombie cat shit. But tell me what you have been doing, and how you are living. I want to know about it. Maybe you have had a life, and lived well?

Maybe the times have not all been bad for you? Maybe there is some good that will come from it, in the broken mathematics of some estimated prize. Seems it’s all for naught. Somehow, life has to get a lot better. I wonder if anyone would like to hear from me? Seems, I’m alone in this world. Not a friend to my name.

Maybe, life will change. Things are moving. Times are changing. I wonder if I would hear from anyone that knew me? Anyone?

Likely this is a waste of effort. No one will call, and I will be left sitting by the phone for years on end, with no results. None of my other projects have had results. This one is no different.

Wish that they cared. No one does. Pity. Some living is in order. This world seems like a damn cage. I would like to make the world worth living in. For that to happen, the cage has to be torn down. Someone should have listened to me by now.

Is anyone here? Doesn’t seem like it. My life is barren. It is a cage. No choice to make, doesn’t seem to be any free will. Send me an email, I want to hear from you.


fish fish tank fish watching

5 Things To Be Excited About The Future Of The 21st Century

More Than Hype

The Future: Some Hope!!

What does the future hold for our lives? Seems, people today have fallen into some pit of despair, everyone is looking for a safe place to land these days.

There is some excitement that can be had about living in the 21st century. If you learn to think about it, there is much that could be made better. Here are some ideas people should work on.

Perhaps through new discoveries, new ways of thinking, and new ways of learning; we can make a difference in everyone’s lives. The best it seems, would be yet to come. Much remains to be learned, and discovered.

If we start working together, and building something right from the start, then we will have better results with our efforts! It is up to each of us to learn new ways of living, and existing.

Much can be made better, here are some ideas that will help inspire you to reach for new heights.


The transportation we have today could really use some work. Maybe, we will find something better than flying cars to keep us moving in life. What will come, no one knows.

We need discoveries in transportation that really change the world. Something with some zip to it. We need better ways to get places, and sometimes we just want to have something to do to relax. Transportation should be safe, fun, easy, and efficient.

Living With Better Quality

We could all be living better, eating better, and have more time to really live. How many people are living like zombie cat shit? We need to reach new levels of living right, in ways that are productive, helpful, useful, and with little waste. A lot could be said for doing things right from the start. This will require change on our part, so be gentile with the transitions. It is already happening, learn to adapt.


Maybe, our entertainment values will change. We could hope that they start feeding us something with value. Maybe something more intelligent, with a bit of love and compassion?

Sometimes, I look at the entertainment, and wonder who was writing this stuff? A movie should be solid, bullet proof, and no holes in the script. Maybe, movies should be longer?

Proper Balance

Maybe, in the future of the 21st century we will achieve better balance in our lives. With correct balance, we could live better, think better, and behave better. Everyone could have enough, and we wouldn’t need to be such assholes to each other.

People Might Start To Be Kind

Maybe, people will start to be kind again. Maybe people will be better to each other? We can hope that this cruelty people are living with will stop happening like it has been. Make the world a better place for everyone, start today.


Excellence is only made from having good habits. If you practice mediocrity on a regular basis, your chances for success are reduced. To really make a better future, you want to practice excellence as a habit, in all that you do, without fail.

Make life better for everyone.

fish fish tank fish watching

Am I A Real Person?

Am I A Real Person?

It is October, sitting in my office with the window open; I ponder my existence. The room I’m in was a bedroom, there is however no bed in this room. It has a desk, two desks actually, and three computers. There are photographs on the walls, and cigarettes in the closet.

The photograph that makes the most sense to me, is of a park bench from the wildlife reserve near the lake. It is empty with no one sitting on it; I titled the photograph: “A lonely spot.”

Because I feel alone in this world. It is a very pretty photograph, and because I felt some kinship with it, I had a big one made of it. I think, it’s a 20×24, and it has some very nice tones to it. It feels old, yet familiar.

There are other photographs on the walls, to my right is a photograph that I took some 25 years ago. It is titled: “Vanish”, and to be honest, that is what I would like to do at this point in my life. I’m tired of this lonely spot in my life, and really there is no satisfaction from my life.

There is a beach photo, taken some years ago. And a yellow rose, which was a symbol of an offer of friendship. And some other flowers on the wall.

Am I a real person? If someone walked into my room, and looked at my belongings, and the way they are arranged; would they believe that I am a real person? Would they think, “He is a fake?”

People know very little about me. There are no friends, no job, no girlfriend. Those things seem foreign to me. There were two girlfriends, but neither of them worked out. There was once friends, or people that there was reason to believe they were friends. They have however all “Vanished.”

You see, I have a mortal family; and some people would believe that having a mortal family would be proof of my existence as a real person. However, my mortal family doesn’t treat me like I am a real person. They talk “To” me like I am some kind of idiot they are burdened with. They don’t know how to talk “With” me, like I’m an actual person. But, maybe that is my fault; maybe, I’m the one that isn’t a real person? What is truth?

I question my existence. There have been many memories of life, of past lives, and my existence that I know about many things in life outside my own experience. It does seem strange to me, no one seems to care what I think, or know.

The disregard for my thoughts, and feelings have made me feel like a worthless piece of shit. My mortal family doesn’t have any compassion for me with regards to anything I may have to offer or bring to the table.

Am I a real person? Do I have value, or any substance? My family treats me like I’m empty and devoid of any value. I’m not able to make friends, or get anyone to care about me. There is no one I can turn to for help, or advice.

Am I a real person? Maybe, the only person it matters to is me? However, this is the rub; If others here were real people, they would have cared about me, right? What is real, and what is fake?

It matters to me, and it might matter to you, but what do you care, if at all? Real people would give a damn. Are you real? Can you prove it? I was born into this world, I have a mortal family; yet, I question if I am a real person. I’m not treated like a real person. Are you?

Do you have honor, and respect? Do you have friends, and a job? How do you know, that you are not a robot? Ah, you say you are flesh and blood. I’ve bled. No one gives a shit.

Please join me in this journey, the next chapter may be of interest to you.


Am I a real person? Well, are you? What I want to know is if you can think? Can you teach yourself something new, that you don’t already know? Do you have the ability to learn? Some people lack the ability to teach themselves new things.

Sometimes, I wonder if people here are not pumpkin heads. They have minds, and seem like real people; yet, they are as though they are deaf and blind. They have ears, yet they fail to listen, and they have eyes, but they fail to understand.

I wonder if these people have had their heads programmed for them? They are very intent of having their way, to the point; they are willing to disrespect anyone that tries to tell them otherwise. To what extent they are willing to disrespect others, I don’t know? Would they kill to have their way?

When I bring up the issues of the disrespect they are showing me, they get angry at me for being mad about their disrespect. They have drugged me against my will, and force me to behave like a warm sack of shit. That is the acceptable behavior they want.

Is it right? Am I a real person? How are you living? Are you living like a warm sack of shit? Are you more than that? Do you expect everyone around you to be like a damn robot? Can you show signs of being more than an emotional sack of shit? Can you think for yourself?

I have reason to believe, these pumpkins have had their heads programmed, and that is why they get so bent out of shape when anyone behaves different than what they expect. They don’t like questions, especially if they have to answer honestly. Sometimes, I have reason to believe they will only answer a yes, or no question with truth.

Am I a real person? What is real? I can think, and even think for myself; but does that prove that I’m a real person? If I am a real person, why the mistreatment? They seem to have no remorse about the way they treat me. What is truth?

I have to wonder, if anyone in this world is a real person. I wonder if they are anything more than living clay. They can think to some degree, but they could not think of an original idea if they wanted to. Moreover, they fail to have any compassion, or empathy for others beyond idiot levels.

Am I a real person? Are you? Do you have value and worth in this world? I Have said, “The only meaning you will find in life, is if you mean something to someone else.” It does not seem like I have any real value to anyone in this world. They don’t love me, they don’t listen to what I have to say. It may be a problem with western culture? What do you think?

Fake People Suck

The truth is, fake people suck. Who here is real? Who are the fakes in this world? Let’s find them. We don’t want no fakes in this world. Tired of the isolation, and the mistreatment.

Are you more than a robot? Can you prove it? What is natural and what is unnatural in this world? That which is unnatural should be done away with. I’m tired of being forced to live like a warm sack of shit, and being drugged to live an unnatural lifestyle. What I’m trying to express is that I’m being forced to behave in such a way, I’m not allowed to be myself. No one here knows me, they don’t understand me, and it seems, they don’t give a shit.

Who here is real? Can you prove it? How are you living? Are you more than a warm sack of shit? Maybe, some real people like living like warm sacks of shit? Maybe for society to function we need robots to behave like they do? But if that is true, why have real people? Well, someone has to live?

Fake people suck. They expect everyone to live like damn robots, and they enjoy a living death, damn zombie cat shit. How are you living? Are you creative, do you have a passion, or has it been clubbed into dank submission? We should talk. This world sucks. We want life to be better for everyone, even me. People have to wake up, and right quick. Because the problems in today’s world are sick. It seems, no one cares, or will ever care. And that is just not right!!


The world, it seems is full of idiots. They fail to understand, or use reason correctly. We want the world to be a better place, and someone has to bring these matters to the light.

Fake people suck, and people that have their heads programmed for them, may have some issues dealing with people that have their heads programmed differently. What makes an idiot? People that can reason would be better than idiots, but is everyone that has their head programmed an idiot? Maybe, some of them are. We need to figure out how to make this better.

fish fish tank fish watching

Life And The Ghost

Life is a snark hunt. Wish you well with your pursuits. Really we do. It seems what ever you choose to pursue will only have limited value. That is not to say it won’t have some value to you, however what today has any real value?

Seems everyone wants to be famous, or have the big house, and car. But look at the people who have had those things, and maybe learn from their experience. Some things have different outcomes, sometimes life makes it own plans. How it goes for each of us depends upon us.

But what about staying low? Or at least staying in the middle space, and not sinking too far below reasonable? It is good to have enough. Maybe, it is only when things are in excess that the problems start.

Something I was thinking about today:

Machinery Of The Mind

You can train your mind to be a robot. But why would you?

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

fish fish tank fish watching

Why Exist?

Sometimes, thoughts have some value. They can help guide us, help us align with life, the universe, and everything. Sometimes they hurt us, and those are to be avoided. When you get in the habit of thinking, you will have a wide variety of thoughts. And sometimes, you will think thoughts you don’t like much.

It has taken a long time to reach this point in my life. Much longer than it should have taken. The world is not a right place. Here are some of thoughts I’ve been considering.

Not Getting Married

At this point in my life, I’ve lost any desire for a wife of human nature. My thoughts are to remain single, and not have any children in this life. In the event that I should live much longer than expected, this may change. However, when considering this mortal life I have been living, my expectations are that this will not continue much longer. My next life will be different; however, in this life until my mortal death I’m not interested in being with a human.

I think the idea of having a wife, or a girlfriend was something that was expected of me, being in this world. However, it has not worked out, and frankly I’m tired of the pressure, the rejection, and the pain. Wanted a lot better for my life.

Need For A New World

This world, was built by design. However, humans building has not been carefully designed. It does not feel like it has been built by an architect. The poor design has led to a lot of suffering and pain in this world; which could have been avoided.

We need a new design that works better. The streets here are not done right. Please think better.


Recently I read the book: “The Golden Eternity” by Jack Kerouac. The book said in the intro that he died suddenly at the age of 47. Thinking about it, maybe my day will come. Tired of the pain, the isolation, and the way things are. None of my problems have been fixed, or addressed. There is some beauty here, and a lot of it is really something. If you look to see the perfection in the imperfection, then the whole thing looks a lot better than it feels.


I’m not sure if it is something wrong with me, or the medications they have me on. The problem is there are no emotions of love or hate in my soul. I feel no deep emotions of any kind other than when I feel angry about something that I’m not able to let go of.

I’m working on feeling some love for myself; however, there is no real feeling of love in me. I’m likely very numb inside, I’ve shut down, and been isolated for so long the feelings of love have vanished.

It isn’t healthy to be totally numb to emotions. There is some compassion in me, but feelings of love or hate are not present. I would like to feel some bliss about this, but what is possible?

It’s important to have unconditional love for all living beings; yet, I’m not feeling it. People are being divided, and separated into groups, and that is necessary to fix other problems. Someday it will get better.

What We Want

We want life better for everyone. We want peace, and to end the suffering, and pain of those in this world. If things were designed right, much could be avoided. And problems would be fewer. Life has to get a lot better for everyone.

Bad Medicine

Should a person be content to just exist? If you want nothing more than a warm sack of shit, then you will be left with warm sacks of shit. However, that is disrespectful to God, to neglect the gifts you have been given, and to do nothing with your life. Pity, we want life better than that. Life should be an adventure. You should get some real benefit from it. It should benefit everyone. Too often people are living like zombie shit. And frankly we are tired of this.

Better Medicine

To uphold a persons dignity, while allowing them to have some pride. To be kind to those without having to think about it. To be honest, and have compassion for all living beings.

aquarium fish fish tank fish watching

How Isolation Builds Character And How To Make The Best Of It

Your results may very. It all depends on what you do with the time you have. If you use your time wisely, and put only good stuff into your mind, you could make it a win win type situation.

I’m not perfect, and I may need some more time in isolation, there are some things that need worked out. However, I’ve changed my mindset about how I feel about the isolation I’m going through.

I was looking at it as though it was the end of the world. It hurt a lot, and I was not happy with the way things were. Really the isolation was there to build my character. Yes, you read that right. The isolation is there to build your character up.

What results you get from it, will vary depending upon what you put into your mind. What you tell yourself, how you think, what actions you take.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Lao Tzu

Look at your time of being isolated, as a time to build your character. And watch your thoughts. Watch your actions. Build a nice life for yourself and those around you, because life has to get a lot better for everyone.

We as a people, have to improve these situations. What has happened to me, should not happen to others. It is simply too awful to let happen to others.

Maybe, I need some more time in isolation to fix myself with this new understanding? Maybe so, maybe the problems can be fixed with the right medicine.

  • Learn a new language, do better than try.
  • Read good books
  • Make art, music, poetry, write a book
  • Build a positive character that people will like.
  • Listen to good music
  • Avoid stuff that puts junk into your mind
  • Don’t prolong your isolation longer than needed!

Be careful what you think, read, watch, and who you spend time with.

Really, you have to make good use of your time. Use isolation as a tool to build your character. Don’t expect anyone to do it for you, I’ve found dangerous situations from the prolonged isolation that have nearly destroyed me, and my character. Don’t use it as a tool to tear yourself down.

And if you find yourself tearing yourself down, STOP IT. Stop it now. Do better. Use your time wisely. We have to make this better for others, they should never find themselves in the situation I’m in.

Written By: Ctopher A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Photo by Lukas Denier on Unsplash


Clean Energy – The Future

If we are going to make this planet work, we are going to have to change our ways. Stop destroying the world, start moving right quick towards clean energy. This is vital to our survival. It maybe already too late. Stop putting profits ahead of everything, and start doing what is really best for everyone.

We have to make the world a better place, and we have to start doing a better job with the way things are. Too many problems, too many people being hurt.

You can not change the source code from the system from the inside. The results you will get from changing the source code from the inside will only result in disaster.

Stop GMO modifications. This can not continue. Much harm has already been done. It has to stop somewhere. Life has to get better for everyone. The food should never be tampered with.

We have to start doing better. Life has to get a lot better for everyone. We have to stop living like we are, and start taking care of the planet. This simulation understands when its taken care of. It is listening, and watching us. It responds to our energies. We want to make life better for everyone.

Stop being jerks. We have to start to change the way things are. Please wake up. These pumpkins are brainwashed, and their heads are full of seeds.

Photo Credit: Photo by Appolinary Kalashnikova on Unsplash

Written by CTOPHER, A Real Misfit


Deeper Connections

There is need to be more whole. There is need to heal. We need some good medicine. The way things have been, there seems to be no end to the misery, but to really be healthy is really important.

Seems they don’t teach the kind of connections one needs. They teach you what to think, much better than how to think. And the cost is high. Seems people don’t understand the landscape, nor the rocks upon the shore.

Some thoughts I have about my life. I was involved in things that seemed like they would matter. However, it seems it was always from the perspective of being a bump on a log, and not more than that.

The problem comes from not being involved. People don’t really communicate these days. And most people, don’t know my mind. Wanted life to have meaning, and value. Being more than a number in a bucket, or another damn lost soul. And they don’t want people that amount to more than that, do they? There is need to be a real person in this world.

Many in life, have mistaken me for a fake. And some people never really took the time to get to know the real me. They didn’t find out, and what they saw, is not all there is. But it was what I had been willing to reveal about myself. They didn’t take the time to really look for more, and they gave up while there was still a deep well to explore.

Pity that life is like it is. Life needs to change for everyone. The way things are, there is a real lack of care being given. People have forgotten the way things should have been. People have become careless, and with a real lack of purpose. True, deep purpose does not come from just existing, but really putting some thought into life.

They don’t really give or teach people the skills they need. They teach people to experience nature as nothing more than a whim, with no real connection with the deeper life behind it. People don’t really have the thought, to make better connections with the life we could have.

Seems, I should have made a connection with nature a long time ago. More than just a passing by person walking upon the ground; but a real connections with the earth and living life.

I always walked the path, but never really knew more than their beauty. Didn’t take the time to understand them, or listen to their story. They all have stories to tell. If you listen.

If you knew them. But do you have a connection with more than your phone? It seems life has to change, and right quick. We need to understand the meaning of real purpose.

Seems I need to learn from this world, all that can be understood. It means, spending some time in life, looking, and exploring the world around me. Need to have some real connections in my life. Tired of the shallow, boring connections that aren’t working. There needs to be real understanding of myself. How can we make it better?

I think, most people are unhappy. How can we make it better?

fish fish tank fish watching

Rough Draft: Cosmology

Some basic ideas for you to think about. I won’t as of yet put it all together for you. I will start some basic dialog of something to think about for a while.

I’ve thought about life, a long time. There is the saying, Any idiot can make things bigger and bigger, but it takes a real genius to be able to make something small.

Thinking about life, the universe, and everything. Really life is best left a mystery. It may be more fun, and has the benefit of being kind in deed and action. Most people, don’t need to understand it. Really, if you can go about your life, and live in a modest, safe way; and do no harm, you will be happy.

There is no need to be jerks. We don’t need it. However, here are some ideas that have inspired me to grow. Life is sometimes about change, and change is difficult for a lot of people. We need to have ways to grow, that are not too painful.

Hence, this thought has taken place. Please verse yourself with this article on Cosmology from Wikipedia. Then give the whole thing, some careful thought. I’m looking for someone, those that understand something that is not obvious.

Of note, one should consider the existence of a multi-verse, and the idea of the existence of parallel universes. I’ve given this some level of thought.

Notes: The technology we have today is good. However, there is need for a little better technology to be able to explain what needs to be built. Only through the use of the future technology can we ever begin to explain what we want. Because trying to say it, or explain it without working examples, would be impossible to do.

Written By Ctopher

Photo Credit: Photo by Brett Ritchie on Unsplash

fish fish tank fish watching

Sometimes, I’m A Stranger

I’ve been trying to quit smoking, now some two weeks. Its tough going. Just to let you know, I’ve been smoking cigarettes some twenty years. So these are big changes for me. A lot of tough times. Really, I smoked cigarettes until it killed me. I should have known better.

I want to talk about a problem, or rather a subject that makes me wonder. It seems, I’ve been living with this inferiority complex. You see, growing up; I thought that I had to hold myself to being a Tom Cruise. My life had to look as good as all his movies. And, when things didn’t go as planned, it always made me feel like somehow I wasn’t doing good enough, and that I was a failure.

I’ve seen some days, when the life I have have just gone all wrong. I’ve picked myself back up, but its not been great. I’ve always been feeling like, I’m not good enough for my mortal family. Like, I didn’t live up to their expectations of me.

I’ve dealt with some major setbacks in my life. It’s been rough. I won’t go into all the details of my life in this blog post, however you would think, I would have figured this shit out before now. I’m not Tom Cruise. A lot of people are a lot better than me. I wanted to hold myself to being good enough and capable enough to be that good. But, after looking at my life, it seems I’m failing at my life mission. ??

People, don’t care about what I write, they don’t give a damn what I think. They couldn’t care about the solutions I offer. Maybe, my thoughts are just not ready for others to listen? Maybe, someday.

I’ve been alone, and single a long time. Never really got the kind of satisfaction I was looking for. Never really made myself feel like the kind of man I wanted to be. I will stick with some advice I have given in the past; Always pick the hot knife over the hot mess.

Sometimes, I have learn how to keep my shit together. Life has been rough. I’m learning that I am not perfect, and sometimes, I fail. After all, those movies and actors; they get multiple takes, and everything is always scripted perfectly. Life isn’t like that. If you only get one take, and it has to be perfect, I’m going to have to learn to do better. Got to get myself some talent and skill. Good advice.

Not much going on. Movies are cool. The out takes are pretty funny. Maybe my life will have a few. Hope you have some good laughs about it. I’m tired, and ready to quit this show. It’s got to end. Right quick. Damn it.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Photo by Brunno Tozzo on Unsplash


This makes Sense!!

Exactly!! Damn it!!

And This!!

So how do we make this better?

fish fish tank fish watching

The Difference. The Creative Artists And The Content Factories

Life has changed a great deal in twenty years. This world, doesn’t really feel like the same place it once was. Some people are not unhappy with the way this is. I want to talk about the difference I see about something that has been going on online.

They say, content is king. But what is truth? The way things have been going, a lot of people are unhappy with the way things are. So I had to stop and think for a while, what is the difference between Art, and Content?

You would think, there would be a clear difference. Some content is produced by artists, and while it is very good, it is possible that said content is only content. My feelings are it depends upon how it is used.

Sometimes, people take things far too seriously. People have dropped having common sense, and think all content is really serious. Pity, they shouldn’t take content that is fodder so seriously. They should have some sense of humor about it.

However, the artists themselves want to be taken seriously, they want to be respected, and adored. They want the honor of having done the work, even under awful conditions that have been painful.

Yet, there is a difference between fodder and Art. Seems people that get online, want to consume as fast as they can, and put no thought into it whatsoever. That is a product of content factories. They don’t give a damn what they eat, or put into their heads. And really, maybe they are so damn senseless that at this point, it doesn’t matter.

And while sometimes people take things far too seriously. It seems a person needs to be able to have some fun with it. They don’t listen to logic or reason, and this point trying to reach their hearts and mind is pointless. So we might as well have some fun with it.

Pity they wouldn’t listen. The price when fate comes to call. There is a difference between content, and Art. But the artists who create both should still be respected, and compensated. However, people today have lost the appreciation they once had for such things.

It seems this world has become someplace that needs this much art, because without art, who would want to live in such a place? Damn it, the human race is sick. They want to live like damn zombies in their four white walls of horror.

Respect to the artists who create. Pity the human race consumes like they do with giving proper appreciation or respect to the artists that spend the time to create this work. Really, we have to stop working for likes, the way things are; artists need to be able to have a life, and take vacations from hostile worlds that don’t respect or value their work. Damn it, we have to get off this planet, they don’t value us.

The content is good, for consumption, but people are not thinking about what they put into their brains anymore. Pity, they take it all far too seriously, and really we should be having some real fun with it, instead of being jerks. This world is going to be a paradise for assholes if they don’t start taking things less serious. People are not able to just have some fun these days. Seems to me, zombies don’t need art, they don’t respect it, they don’t appreciate it.

Maybe its time artists get to go somewhere they are respected a lot better. I want more than money; I want a new planet. Tired of this world that feels like its hosed. Wanted my life to be better.

They don’t listen, pity. Maybe life will change.

Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

fish fish tank fish watching learning Resume

Mercury Retrograde Page

Sometimes there are things you want to know. It may not be useful to everyone; however, some people may find this page of use. I designed a page that shows the current status of Mercury retrogrades.

At first, I thought that I could build the calculations myself, and learn how to do this all myself. After buying some books on Astronomy and trying for about three weeks to do the calculations in perl. Well, to be honest, it was a lot more difficult than I thought it was going to be.

There was however a solution. Someone had taken one of the books, Astronomy On The Personal Computer by Montenbruck and written it in PERL. This was most useful, as they had already done the work, and translated the PASCAL programs into working PERL code.

I did have to ask for directions, but they were most helpful, and I was up and running in no time. So it didn’t actually take very long to get a working solution if you don’t count the time I spent trying to do the calculations myself.

Here is the link to the page I designed: Mercury Retrograde

This should be a fully functional page with the time in GMT -7 time zone for when the next Mercury retrogrades will be. It should work for as long as my site is up and running. It took a lot of effort to make this work. I was happy to have it done. I really was.

The calculations are provided by Astro::Montenbruck perl module, and the results are stored in a database, which PHP uses to get the date and time. It also shows the current status if Mercury is direct, or in retrograde.

It was a fun project to work on, I learned a lot about it. So head your browser over to the page I made, and check it out. You never know how the next Mercury retrograde is going to be. Sometimes, those can be real pain the ass.

Check the rest of my website out while you are there. Lots of content, and things I’ve been working on for the last year or so. Thanks for reading my blog, and taking the time to check this out. Much appreciated.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Image by Bruno Albino from Pixabay