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How Isolation Builds Character And How To Make The Best Of It

Your results may very. It all depends on what you do with the time you have. If you use your time wisely, and put only good stuff into your mind, you could make it a win win type situation.

I’m not perfect, and I may need some more time in isolation, there are some things that need worked out. However, I’ve changed my mindset about how I feel about the isolation I’m going through.

I was looking at it as though it was the end of the world. It hurt a lot, and I was not happy with the way things were. Really the isolation was there to build my character. Yes, you read that right. The isolation is there to build your character up.

What results you get from it, will vary depending upon what you put into your mind. What you tell yourself, how you think, what actions you take.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Lao Tzu

Look at your time of being isolated, as a time to build your character. And watch your thoughts. Watch your actions. Build a nice life for yourself and those around you, because life has to get a lot better for everyone.

We as a people, have to improve these situations. What has happened to me, should not happen to others. It is simply too awful to let happen to others.

Maybe, I need some more time in isolation to fix myself with this new understanding? Maybe so, maybe the problems can be fixed with the right medicine.

  • Learn a new language, do better than try.
  • Read good books
  • Make art, music, poetry, write a book
  • Build a positive character that people will like.
  • Listen to good music
  • Avoid stuff that puts junk into your mind
  • Don’t prolong your isolation longer than needed!

Be careful what you think, read, watch, and who you spend time with.

Really, you have to make good use of your time. Use isolation as a tool to build your character. Don’t expect anyone to do it for you, I’ve found dangerous situations from the prolonged isolation that have nearly destroyed me, and my character. Don’t use it as a tool to tear yourself down.

And if you find yourself tearing yourself down, STOP IT. Stop it now. Do better. Use your time wisely. We have to make this better for others, they should never find themselves in the situation I’m in.

Written By: Ctopher A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Photo by Lukas Denier on Unsplash


Clean Energy – The Future

If we are going to make this planet work, we are going to have to change our ways. Stop destroying the world, start moving right quick towards clean energy. This is vital to our survival. It maybe already too late. Stop putting profits ahead of everything, and start doing what is really best for everyone.

We have to make the world a better place, and we have to start doing a better job with the way things are. Too many problems, too many people being hurt.

You can not change the source code from the system from the inside. The results you will get from changing the source code from the inside will only result in disaster.

Stop GMO modifications. This can not continue. Much harm has already been done. It has to stop somewhere. Life has to get better for everyone. The food should never be tampered with.

We have to start doing better. Life has to get a lot better for everyone. We have to stop living like we are, and start taking care of the planet. This simulation understands when its taken care of. It is listening, and watching us. It responds to our energies. We want to make life better for everyone.

Stop being jerks. We have to start to change the way things are. Please wake up. These pumpkins are brainwashed, and their heads are full of seeds.

Photo Credit: Photo by Appolinary Kalashnikova on Unsplash

Written by CTOPHER, A Real Misfit


Deeper Connections

There is need to be more whole. There is need to heal. We need some good medicine. The way things have been, there seems to be no end to the misery, but to really be healthy is really important.

Seems they don’t teach the kind of connections one needs. They teach you what to think, much better than how to think. And the cost is high. Seems people don’t understand the landscape, nor the rocks upon the shore.

Some thoughts I have about my life. I was involved in things that seemed like they would matter. However, it seems it was always from the perspective of being a bump on a log, and not more than that.

The problem comes from not being involved. People don’t really communicate these days. And most people, don’t know my mind. Wanted life to have meaning, and value. Being more than a number in a bucket, or another damn lost soul. And they don’t want people that amount to more than that, do they? There is need to be a real person in this world.

Many in life, have mistaken me for a fake. And some people never really took the time to get to know the real me. They didn’t find out, and what they saw, is not all there is. But it was what I had been willing to reveal about myself. They didn’t take the time to really look for more, and they gave up while there was still a deep well to explore.

Pity that life is like it is. Life needs to change for everyone. The way things are, there is a real lack of care being given. People have forgotten the way things should have been. People have become careless, and with a real lack of purpose. True, deep purpose does not come from just existing, but really putting some thought into life.

They don’t really give or teach people the skills they need. They teach people to experience nature as nothing more than a whim, with no real connection with the deeper life behind it. People don’t really have the thought, to make better connections with the life we could have.

Seems, I should have made a connection with nature a long time ago. More than just a passing by person walking upon the ground; but a real connections with the earth and living life.

I always walked the path, but never really knew more than their beauty. Didn’t take the time to understand them, or listen to their story. They all have stories to tell. If you listen.

If you knew them. But do you have a connection with more than your phone? It seems life has to change, and right quick. We need to understand the meaning of real purpose.

Seems I need to learn from this world, all that can be understood. It means, spending some time in life, looking, and exploring the world around me. Need to have some real connections in my life. Tired of the shallow, boring connections that aren’t working. There needs to be real understanding of myself. How can we make it better?

I think, most people are unhappy. How can we make it better?

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Rough Draft: Cosmology

Some basic ideas for you to think about. I won’t as of yet put it all together for you. I will start some basic dialog of something to think about for a while.

I’ve thought about life, a long time. There is the saying, Any idiot can make things bigger and bigger, but it takes a real genius to be able to make something small.

Thinking about life, the universe, and everything. Really life is best left a mystery. It may be more fun, and has the benefit of being kind in deed and action. Most people, don’t need to understand it. Really, if you can go about your life, and live in a modest, safe way; and do no harm, you will be happy.

There is no need to be jerks. We don’t need it. However, here are some ideas that have inspired me to grow. Life is sometimes about change, and change is difficult for a lot of people. We need to have ways to grow, that are not too painful.

Hence, this thought has taken place. Please verse yourself with this article on Cosmology from Wikipedia. Then give the whole thing, some careful thought. I’m looking for someone, those that understand something that is not obvious.

Of note, one should consider the existence of a multi-verse, and the idea of the existence of parallel universes. I’ve given this some level of thought.

Notes: The technology we have today is good. However, there is need for a little better technology to be able to explain what needs to be built. Only through the use of the future technology can we ever begin to explain what we want. Because trying to say it, or explain it without working examples, would be impossible to do.

Written By Ctopher

Photo Credit: Photo by Brett Ritchie on Unsplash

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Sometimes, I’m A Stranger

I’ve been trying to quit smoking, now some two weeks. Its tough going. Just to let you know, I’ve been smoking cigarettes some twenty years. So these are big changes for me. A lot of tough times. Really, I smoked cigarettes until it killed me. I should have known better.

I want to talk about a problem, or rather a subject that makes me wonder. It seems, I’ve been living with this inferiority complex. You see, growing up; I thought that I had to hold myself to being a Tom Cruise. My life had to look as good as all his movies. And, when things didn’t go as planned, it always made me feel like somehow I wasn’t doing good enough, and that I was a failure.

I’ve seen some days, when the life I have have just gone all wrong. I’ve picked myself back up, but its not been great. I’ve always been feeling like, I’m not good enough for my mortal family. Like, I didn’t live up to their expectations of me.

I’ve dealt with some major setbacks in my life. It’s been rough. I won’t go into all the details of my life in this blog post, however you would think, I would have figured this shit out before now. I’m not Tom Cruise. A lot of people are a lot better than me. I wanted to hold myself to being good enough and capable enough to be that good. But, after looking at my life, it seems I’m failing at my life mission. ??

People, don’t care about what I write, they don’t give a damn what I think. They couldn’t care about the solutions I offer. Maybe, my thoughts are just not ready for others to listen? Maybe, someday.

I’ve been alone, and single a long time. Never really got the kind of satisfaction I was looking for. Never really made myself feel like the kind of man I wanted to be. I will stick with some advice I have given in the past; Always pick the hot knife over the hot mess.

Sometimes, I have learn how to keep my shit together. Life has been rough. I’m learning that I am not perfect, and sometimes, I fail. After all, those movies and actors; they get multiple takes, and everything is always scripted perfectly. Life isn’t like that. If you only get one take, and it has to be perfect, I’m going to have to learn to do better. Got to get myself some talent and skill. Good advice.

Not much going on. Movies are cool. The out takes are pretty funny. Maybe my life will have a few. Hope you have some good laughs about it. I’m tired, and ready to quit this show. It’s got to end. Right quick. Damn it.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Photo by Brunno Tozzo on Unsplash


This makes Sense!!

Exactly!! Damn it!!

And This!!

So how do we make this better?

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The Difference. The Creative Artists And The Content Factories

Life has changed a great deal in twenty years. This world, doesn’t really feel like the same place it once was. Some people are not unhappy with the way this is. I want to talk about the difference I see about something that has been going on online.

They say, content is king. But what is truth? The way things have been going, a lot of people are unhappy with the way things are. So I had to stop and think for a while, what is the difference between Art, and Content?

You would think, there would be a clear difference. Some content is produced by artists, and while it is very good, it is possible that said content is only content. My feelings are it depends upon how it is used.

Sometimes, people take things far too seriously. People have dropped having common sense, and think all content is really serious. Pity, they shouldn’t take content that is fodder so seriously. They should have some sense of humor about it.

However, the artists themselves want to be taken seriously, they want to be respected, and adored. They want the honor of having done the work, even under awful conditions that have been painful.

Yet, there is a difference between fodder and Art. Seems people that get online, want to consume as fast as they can, and put no thought into it whatsoever. That is a product of content factories. They don’t give a damn what they eat, or put into their heads. And really, maybe they are so damn senseless that at this point, it doesn’t matter.

And while sometimes people take things far too seriously. It seems a person needs to be able to have some fun with it. They don’t listen to logic or reason, and this point trying to reach their hearts and mind is pointless. So we might as well have some fun with it.

Pity they wouldn’t listen. The price when fate comes to call. There is a difference between content, and Art. But the artists who create both should still be respected, and compensated. However, people today have lost the appreciation they once had for such things.

It seems this world has become someplace that needs this much art, because without art, who would want to live in such a place? Damn it, the human race is sick. They want to live like damn zombies in their four white walls of horror.

Respect to the artists who create. Pity the human race consumes like they do with giving proper appreciation or respect to the artists that spend the time to create this work. Really, we have to stop working for likes, the way things are; artists need to be able to have a life, and take vacations from hostile worlds that don’t respect or value their work. Damn it, we have to get off this planet, they don’t value us.

The content is good, for consumption, but people are not thinking about what they put into their brains anymore. Pity, they take it all far too seriously, and really we should be having some real fun with it, instead of being jerks. This world is going to be a paradise for assholes if they don’t start taking things less serious. People are not able to just have some fun these days. Seems to me, zombies don’t need art, they don’t respect it, they don’t appreciate it.

Maybe its time artists get to go somewhere they are respected a lot better. I want more than money; I want a new planet. Tired of this world that feels like its hosed. Wanted my life to be better.

They don’t listen, pity. Maybe life will change.

Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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Mercury Retrograde Page

Sometimes there are things you want to know. It may not be useful to everyone; however, some people may find this page of use. I designed a page that shows the current status of Mercury retrogrades.

At first, I thought that I could build the calculations myself, and learn how to do this all myself. After buying some books on Astronomy and trying for about three weeks to do the calculations in perl. Well, to be honest, it was a lot more difficult than I thought it was going to be.

There was however a solution. Someone had taken one of the books, Astronomy On The Personal Computer by Montenbruck and written it in PERL. This was most useful, as they had already done the work, and translated the PASCAL programs into working PERL code.

I did have to ask for directions, but they were most helpful, and I was up and running in no time. So it didn’t actually take very long to get a working solution if you don’t count the time I spent trying to do the calculations myself.

Here is the link to the page I designed: Mercury Retrograde

This should be a fully functional page with the time in GMT -7 time zone for when the next Mercury retrogrades will be. It should work for as long as my site is up and running. It took a lot of effort to make this work. I was happy to have it done. I really was.

The calculations are provided by Astro::Montenbruck perl module, and the results are stored in a database, which PHP uses to get the date and time. It also shows the current status if Mercury is direct, or in retrograde.

It was a fun project to work on, I learned a lot about it. So head your browser over to the page I made, and check it out. You never know how the next Mercury retrograde is going to be. Sometimes, those can be real pain the ass.

Check the rest of my website out while you are there. Lots of content, and things I’ve been working on for the last year or so. Thanks for reading my blog, and taking the time to check this out. Much appreciated.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Image by Bruno Albino from Pixabay

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How You Can Prove The Matrix Is Just A Movie Absolving Yourself

In the day; The Matrix was a real head banger. It was a really smart movie about a problem, that most people could get a sense of excitement about.

Now days, it is mostly a forgotten film; something people still have in their library but have seen a thousand times too many. It was a great movie. However, it was just a movie.

In the movie, the characters still had freewill, and could have some sense of understanding. They could grasp basic concepts, and understand the situation.

The problem with today’s world is so much more serious than that. People today in this very world, have lost the ability to understand basic things that are serious, and needed attention.

The way this world is working out; you could walk down the street bleeding to death, no one would care. They could not give a damn. I’ve found, no one in this world will give a shit about me. The way of the world? No, this society is sick. The problems have spiraled out of control, and people are hurting.

Really, I do not understand how things can continue like they are. You would think people would have realized that living like this, is hurting them? They don’t care.

What you can learn from it

The Truth: This world is a prison. Think about the freedom you have. Are you really living? Or, are you living like damn zombie cat shit? Seems to me, most people in this world are not really living. Most people are not doing things that are really living. They live like damn zombies.

They are not really alive. That is because, they are living clay. Inside, they are [edited]. Nothing real about them. They are so fake, they wouldn’t ever be able to think a real thought of their own accord.

Pity, I wanted a lot better. They should have listened. Far too late for that now. The world is screwed. They wouldn’t be kind, damn it.

Life could have been a lot better. They didn’t want life better. Tired of the oppression, the abuse, and the torture. The way things are. feeling like, damn it. This life has sucked. Wish it were better.

Absolve Yourself From The Nonsense

You have to find what has real value. The human race has some real serious problems. They couldn’t think, if they wanted to. Because, their minds have all been programmed for them. They are mindless idiots, not smarter than a rock. Wish it were better. Pity!

Read my article on a solution to a toy on Medium. It is good!!

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Everybody Hurts

What is the harm in ghosting people?

Sometimes people do not give a shit. They do not care who they hurt, or how much harm it does. The problem is when large groups of people set out to harm someone, they usually are successful.

Ghosting people is harmful. You may think it harmless, you however have never been on the other end of that kind of abuse in scale. It is painful, and no one seems to care.

No one reads, so what use is it? Not worth a damn. I’ve given up on the human race in whole. No one cares. I was not good enough for them, and in turn; they have lost my respect. I used to think the human race was really something. Really did.

[seriously edited.]


Needed my life to be better. What they have done, it’s immoral. Pity, they could not care. Wish that I could have talked some sense into them, or made them listen, or think. I have quit the human race in whole. damn it. They made me feel like worthless trash that should never have been born. May God judge them for what they have done. They didn’t have to do that to me. They shouldn’t have done that to me; yet, they did it anyways.

Tired of the world like it is. tired of the human race like they are. Want better. Feeling like, damn it. They could not be kind. Feeling like, damn it. This life. They are ruthless cruel. Didn’t matter I was alone and hurting. No one cared about that. That didn’t matter to them. Everyone hurts. Some people are going to learn valuable lessons. Some of the lessons might be expensive.

Wanted my life to be better. The harm has been done. There is no repairing it. After what they have done, it’s a crime. Pity, they could not listen. Nor care.

Tired of the world like it is. This world has to end.

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Ghosts Writing For Zombies; How Quaint

All for some good humor. However, the joke has been carried all too far. Should the play not look too expensive? You would think, deaths stiff stare would have made the glee glaze.

No one is reading. No one it seems really cares. I feel like a ghost in this world. This world, it feels like a damn prison. Because, life in this cage, it’s not working out very well. They don’t read. They don’t listen.

Pity; life could have been better. They didn’t want to make life better, they wanted to make my life a living hell. Therefore, it seems, there is need for justice in the world. Life should have been a lot better.

Seems, the Pepsi shit has overflown, and its so thick; if it were shit, you couldn’t stir it with a stick. They didn’t want to make life better, they wanted misery, pain, and suffering in the world. It is far too late to make it right now. There will have to be something just done to set the wrongs right. They don’t listen, they don’t care.

What Is The Problem?

The truth is, they want mindless turds. They want zombie fodder, warm sacks of shit; and idiots. It is easier to hurt you that way. They want to make you believe in something which is a lie. They don’t want you to be happy. Pity.

The world should have been better. They didn’t want to make it better, they didn’t want to make it better. And really; it’s a problem now. It could have been done better. Not happy with the way things are. These mindless slaves, seems are zombies when they are seen for what they are. But you are blind. You don’t see it for what it is. They should have woken you up. But life has its ways.

Seems, they are not really thinking. Programming does wonders. The TV, the Radio. The facebook feed you are addicted to. Its all the works of programming. The catch; your mind. They want mindless idiots. Seems, one has to make some progress in the world. The cats seem to want to rule, where those that should have been free are slaves.

To such an extent; they think, and believe they are free. Because, they don’t even know better, therefore their minds are not their own. However, they are too damn dumb to know better.

The world, it seems wants warm sacks of shit. They don’t let you think, they don’t let you be wise. They wouldn’t like that.

Photo Credit: Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

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Advice: important factors living a well balanced badass life to be happy

You want to be happy? You need to find the right balance in life. Most people that are unhappy are not living a balanced life. When things are not balanced, it leaves huge holes in your life. Finding balanced living will make you happier.

You will not feel fulfilled; or have any sense of satisfaction in your life. There are factors in life that sometimes will temporarly de-rail your balance. However, it is important to get back up on your feet and make the best of it.

The only real person that will understand what balance you need is you. However, if you are very unhappy; very likely look the the way your life is out of balance.

You need to have healthy goals. You need to have a variety of living, and quiet time too. When life is out of balance, nothing feels right. Too many friends and too much social time drains you, not enough and the world doesn’t seem right either. Practice balance in your life.

A well balanced life will make you happier in the long run. It is easier to endure a well balanced life. If your life is not balanced, you will be very unhappy. It might take four or five years, then you will be left scratching your head wondering why life sucks.

Finding Balance

Heed the advice, set goals to live a well balanced life. You have to be reasonable. Because you have to have social, work, private time. Therefore, you need to be able to control the situations to restore balance in your life.

A lot of people, are unhappy. One of the main reasons they are unhappy is because their lives are not balanced correctly. You have to be wise enough to be able to look at your life, and see what needs to be fixed. Then, work on that!

Sometimes, situations are temporary and set you back. Sometimes, situations are more permanent. You have to find ways to have good balance in your life. You will be happier if you have good balance in your life. It will make better sense, if you live a well balanced life.

Get enough exercise, spend time in nature. Spend some time with friends and family. Do your job, and have time for play. You will find, that having a balanced life will bring the most rewards.

This is really important. Do what you can to restore balance in your life. Be wise, do what you can to make the changes to be more balanced in your living.

Take this advice from someone that knows what the other side looks like, and how dark, and difficult it is. You don’t want to go there.

Photo Credit: Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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How Everyone Wants To Be Seen An Unique Star – Making Massive Chaos

The world has changed. Life was once a lot different. There should have been some common sense being used; seems, the human race has shot itself in its own foot. Life today is making massive chaos!

What am I talking about? In today’s world, a lot of people are going after being the talent, and being the stars. Fifty years ago, it was an elite club, tough to get into. Now days, you just need a phone, and an account.

Back in the day, people had those they looked up to. Because everyone was looking up to about the same group of people. Today life is a lot more chaos. Who do you look up to these days? Seems, everyone wants to be a tik tok star. What effect does this have on society as a whole? Because, it seems, everyone has lost the focused attention of the people that were once the ultra popular.

And society has suffered from it. Some good has come from it. A lot of people that were once unknown, are now more popular. But, I find you would be hard pressed to say it has done society a lot of good.

Chaos Is Interesting

I will say, it has been interesting. Because where else but on planet earth would you ever find the people that are here? They are unique. Some of them, need to be promoted. Some of them, need to go into careers doing long distance market research.

It has all been very interesting. A lot of fun. However, I think the party needs to end. Not that everyone couldn’t have some fun; but the days of this project are limited. Soak up the fun, while it lasts.

Sometimes, it is interesting to see how things work out. The way things used to be, was different. Today people have settled for micro-fame. Seems, this way of thinking benefits them in the short run. But, how does it play out in the long run?

It will be interesting to see how this making of massive chaos will play out, and what the end result will be. With today’s cancel culture, and the talent wars; seems the way people are is not working out very well. Maybe, we can do better?

The world needs to grow. Life has to change.

Massive Chaos

The massive chaos has been interesting. In my opinion, it has also left real broken feeling in the world. The way things are, people are not happy. Most people are not able to have a conversation. We need to get back to the way things should be. Because, there needs to be more balance in the world. The way things are, this is not balanced right.

People are lost, and confused. Because, there are not good sources these days. Many people feel overwhelmed. There has to be some level of returning to being balanced.

Everyone could be a star, and while; it could work. We are far from having a working solution. We need better solutions. Seems society today is self destructing at very fast pace. We need to get this situation under control. Right quick.

People have stopped thinking. With no real solutions in this world, people are having a tough time keeping up. Maybe, it is time for some real changes in life. Therefore, it is time to wake up. Because, we have to start making sense again. Life has to get a lot better.

Photo Credit: Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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How Zombies Live – The Uselessness of being an Alive poet

Some thoughts.

Today’s project: What is wrong with the world?

What is wrong with the world

They don’t beg poets to write another stanza. they don’t beg writers to tell them a story. They don’t beg the painter for pictures of beauty.

If anything, the bleeding hearts, the poets, the misfits, the dreamers. They are begging people to listen, to read, to see the beauty in the pain.

The world is starving to death, yet; they are not hungry. They don’t want more poets, they don’t want more dreamers. They don’t need another writer to tell them the woes in life.

They want more laws, they want stricter punishments. They want less beauty and diversity. They don’t want to see a face prettier than theirs. They don’t want to be happy for someone else who has done well. They want to make everyone mediocre, they want to make everyone a plain Jane.

They don’t beg average people to be better. Because, They don’t want average people to be better. What they want, is like they are. It is easier to control them. So they settle for average. All the while, the dreamers, the poets, and the writers are saying, “This shit could be better. You are not listening. Damn it.”

The wrong people are begging. These people content with ordinary, these people starving to death content in their four white walls of horror, they don’t seem to want more beauty.

This is what is wrong with the world. They don’t beg people to write poetry. They don’t beg people to take a beautiful photograph. These things have become common, and devalued. To the point, people no longer respect skill, or talent.

They don’t beg average people to be better. Yet, those who rise above the status quo, will tell you; it is better up here.

They beg the sinner to be better, they beg the thief to be better. they don’t ask them to make art, they want more politicians. So they can have more laws on the books. As if, that makes the world a better place. All the while, the artists, the bleeding hearts, and the poets are starving to death.

The wrong people are begging. These people that lack the beauty of real experience are starving to death, and they don’t seem to want to listen. Pity.


Valuable Growth – How Much Is Enough? Is This Valor?

Growth happens when people change for the better. Valuable growth happens when people have valor to be more than warm sacks of shit, while still being honorable.

Changes In Growth

A lot has changed. The world is not the same place it was twenty years ago. One would not always say the world has changed for the better. It may be a matter of taste. Some people seem to like the way some things are these days.

My personal growth however, has been amazing. Much about me is no longer the person I once was. As a matter of a fact, the person I once was is dead. That however, is another matter altogether.

My feelings are that I have outgrown my life. Because, the life that once seemed so fitting, and worthy; it no longer feels like it fits me. There are however some good from it. I’ve learned a lot about the human race, and their ways.

I’ve grown a lot. I would say, my life no longer suits me. This old life, that I’ve been living, it is not really living. Therefore, it seems more like a living death than really living.

They Didn’t Listen

Pity! I was perfectly clear with them. However, it seems they have very selective hearing. They only hear what they want to hear. Therefore, they continue to make believe that the old ways are working, and even dare I say, successful.

These ways are anything other than successful. They have abused, tortured, and caused me harm. And I have outgrown these ruthless ways. I’ve grown tired of the problems. I have learned to deal with it. I don’t like it, I wouldn’t wish it upon an enemy; yet, here we are.

I’ve outgrown this world. These old ways really serve very little useful purpose. I wish they would have been kinder to me. That it seems, is asking far too much.

I’ve had growth that changed me. You could say, it killed me. Because the person I once was, is dead. I’m sure they are well pleased with their results of having destroyed my personality.

The person I once was is dead. I’ve had to grow, and change to be able to survive this torment. I’ve had to learn to adapt, and flow with more pain, and discomfort than reasonable. A normal person would never had made it. I would like to make them live my life, just so they know everything I’ve ever had to live through. And what killed me.

Valuable Growth

I’ve out grown the human race. I used to look to them for friendship, or girlfriends. Because, I used to look up to a lot of them. Therefore, I thought at one time, they were really something.

However, I’ve come to understand an important truth. The human race are living clay. They are not real people, they are AI bots, and really nothing more than warm.

Pity, they could not have been kind. I’ve out grown the human race. I’m bored with being ghosted to death, I’m bored with the way they dis-respect me, and my efforts.

I feel it is important to be a man about my life, but never human. Not ever. There are things in this world that would break your heart, and I want nothing to do with that. The human race are best left to be dealt justice and fate from God. They have not done right.

Valuable growth is knowing when old ways are not going to work any longer. What can come from old worn out lifeless shit? I want my life to be better than this. However, there is need for being reasonable. Some things may have some use, but what to keep?

Broken System Of Oppression

Their old ways are going to have to be judged. I hope that, they will learn some new ways that are better than the treatment they have shown me. They really need to be better than this. I thought, they were. Seems that notion has been proved false.

Seems, they really enjoy doing what they have been doing. They seem to have no remorse about it. Yet, they don’t really care about anyone but themselves. Pity!

The person I once was is dead. Maybe, it was valuable growth? Maybe, it depends on who you ask? I had expected better from the human race. Seems, they didn’t listen, and they didn’t care. It killed me. They don’t seem to be bothered by that. I’ve out grown this life. I have out grown the old ways of what I was born into, and slaving for. I need some new life, or some new dream, because this life is stale.

Change is good. Unless it kills you. But to each their own.


Valuable growth is a good thing. When you know that old ways will no longer work, or be of any value. Finding new ways, and new things to try is where to look. Don’t stay stuck too long. There is more to life than meets the eye. I want satisfaction.

Photo Credit: Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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Oppression Sucks

You know, they wouldn’t let me talk, and when I did; they didn’t listen. Thus, I wrote an awful lot. Because it was the only way I could express myself in a way that I was not being interrupted. Oppression sucks; seems, no one could care!

What I have found will shock you. The truth is the situation could not really ever be more ruthless cruel. I could not imagine the situation being worse than it is, may that never happen. It is already so damn bad; it is torment.

What I have found is that they do not read what I write. It seems they look at it; yet, they fail to understand it. Not sure if this is because they lack the intelligence to understand, or because they refuse to listen to me as a being. Perhaps, both!!

Ignore Me – That will be fun

Seems, they get away with ignoring me, my effort, and anything I may be doing. It is all treated like worthless trash. I’m not anyone to them. As a matter of a fact, my mortal family are all strangers to me.

I don’t know them, not at all. I doubt they know me. They ignore my work, they treat me like I matter not to them. The neglect, indifference, and isolation have taken a real toll on my state of mind.

The isolation is hurting me the worst, but you know what? Being alone is better than spending time with idiots. Damn tired of the world like it is. Want my life to be better, and no one cares.

They treat all my effort like it doesn’t matter; it is all met with the same level of indifference, and total disregard. Oppression sucks. They could not care, because it is not any skin off their nose!

That is the real truth of the matter, it is no skin off their nose to leave me like I am. They couldn’t care. Doesn’t bother them that isolation so thick if it were shit; you couldn’t stir it with a stick.

Doesn’t bother them to hurt me like this. They couldn’t care.

Pity – Life Should Have

Life should have been better. The oppression sucks. And why do they treat me like they do? Because their political viewpoints don’t match what they expect from me as free living being. It is as though, what they really want is a warm sack of shit to love. They want someone that agrees with everything they want.

Life should have been better. This oppression sucks. I guess, the world is a fu*ked up place. Because people are not able to think, they are not able to agree, and they are not able to understand.

The real truth of the matter; if people understood the viewpoint, they would agree. However, they are not able to understand the viewpoint. Somewhere at the end of all this hate; life has to change!

Oppression Sucks

I wrote, because they wouldn’t let me talk, and when I did talk; they did not listen to me. They did not understand the meaning of what I was saying. Them using silence to shut me up will only work for so long. Eventually, this will change. Someday, someone is going to come along and expose them for what they really are. Oppression sucks, and people will only tolerate so much. Someday, someone is going to expose them for what they really are.

They could have been kind. They want warm sacks of shit. And they silence anyone that disagrees with them. Someday, this shit is going to change. Someone will someday be brave enough to expose them for what they are. Pity it couldn’t have happened sooner. The harm has been done.

They don’t listen, they do not think. If they were smart, they would have been kind. That was too much to ask for. Should have never expected them to listen. Only it is a pity they have been so ruthless.

I’ve tried to prove my sanity, much to my failure. No one cared. They didn’t listen, they didn’t read, and what is more; they could not care.


Wanted my life better. The harm has been done. At this point, it is far too late to make it right with me. They have caused me harm. The psychological torment I’ve endured, is beyond what is reasonable for anyone to have to endure. They disregard my feelings as being of no value, that will only get them so far. They treat me like I don’t matter, and of no account. Wonder if they think they can treat everyone in this world like that?

I am not one of you. You are all human. I am not human!

Photo Credit: Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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What Fuels The Worlds Aggression? Mass Emotional Responses Laced With Hate

Turn back to love. . .

My book came in the mail today. After looking at it, and reading most of it; it dawned on me where the problem is. The human race is being gas lit. Mass emotional responses that are laced with hate are fueling the worlds aggression.

How do we shut this off? Seems the supply of fuel has to be shut down. Therefore, it seems people are not thinking, only mass feeding on an emotional feeling that is going to spiral out of control.

If not kept in check, this is going to go bad real quick. Please listen, before it is far too late. The time, has already come and gone; but maybe you can save yourselves a lot more pain than if you take zero action about this.

Stop being manipulated. Start thinking about it. If you have an emotional response to everything they feed you, you really can never be happy. Because, they stir your emotions to keep you stupid. They want it that way. You have to cut the supply of fuel they are feeding you; and start being reasonable.

Because, you have to get back to a place that you are being loving. People are on this emotional kick, and everything has been super charged, but its only working to harm them.

Before it is too late

Consequently, people seem to fail to listen. They don’t think. You have to teach yourself how to think. You have to understand more is possible. Because, a lot more is possible. They have kept you in the dark, a long time.

If you want more, then stop being mindless zombies; start using your mind. If you have an emotional response to everything they tell you, your not in control of your own life. You want to be a slave forever?

Mass emotional responses are driving people, and fueling the aggression in this world. They have spiked the fuel with hate, to drive you to take the action they want you to take. Because, they do not want thinking intelligent people. They want mindless idiots.

Mass Responses

The mass emotional responses are what is getting attention. But it causes more harm than good. People are unhappy, hurting, and scared. You must be better than this. This is manipulation. If you do not see that, then wake up. Stop pretending they have your best interest at heart, they do not. What is more, they do not even care about the results of their actions.


Stop, Look, Listen! We have to get back to being loving. This hate fueling the worlds aggression isn’t working. We have to get back to place we honor what has value. The world we have today, much has been de-valued, and people are not happy. We want to be happy again. The total lack of respect they have shown you should prove their intentions.

Photo By: Photo by Issy Bailey on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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Modern Day Problems

Bored. Such is life. Got so damn bored, I thought maybe I would try watching TV for a while. I went to great length to try and watch TV; and it only ended in failure. Let me tell you about it. My modern day problems!

I have a sofa, this sofa I’ve had for twenty-four years. I had to move it so that it was in front of the TV. This is no big deal, just move one end of the sofa until the sofa and tv are parallel with each other. No big deal. So far good!

Next, plug the Apple TV which has been unplugged for the last two years. It has been at least two years since I last watched the television. So I plug it in. I’m hoping my remote will still work with it, it hasn’t been charged in years.

The Remote

Then after finding the remote, I turn the TV on. But guess what? The TV came on, and I was met with a lock screen that the channel was locked with a PIN. Okay, no big deal, what was that PIN I used for my TV? Well, that was two years ago or longer.

Twenty minutes later, I’m still trying to unlock my TV. Not sure I want to watch the TV after being locked out of my damn TV for twenty-five minutes, and then I think: “This is kind of fun, trying to remember a four digit PIN from two years ago.” I sit with it another ten minutes, before deciding to do something else. Then not to be beaten by something so simple, I get online and look up unlock codes for my TV set.

It is an old TV, it was from 2017. Lots of new TV sets out there since then, I spend all of twenty minutes looking online for a code to use to unlock my TV set, and after a few failed attempts, find one that works.

Oh Good!

So I think, well that was fun, now to watch some TV. The Apple tv was set to some damn TED Talk, and I had to back out of twenty menus to get to where my movies are. I spend ten minutes looking the movies I own, and choose something that seems interesting, something I hadn’t seen in years.

I hit play, and have to mess with the volume for a minute to get it where I can hear it, and still enjoy it. Music from my computer is still playing in the other room, but why bother turning it off?

So I sit and watch TV, for all of. . . DRUM ROLL 5 minutes. After five minutes of watching TV, I get bored, think to myself this has been a huge waste of my time and my effort.

I turn the TV off, and leave the sofa where it is. I go out back and smoke a cigarette, and come back in and lay on the sofa. Fist facing the open room forward, and that lasts about ten or twenty minutes. I want another smoke, and when I come back in, I lay the other way, facing the window. It looks different this way.

I think about the life I had twenty years ago, and how different it was. Wish my life could have been better. This lasts about twenty minutes, and with little less than a sigh, I get up and go to my computer. I close the browser window that had the instructions for the PIN reset on it, and start looking for something to do.

Wasted Time

Thus, turning the TV on was a total waste of time and effort, not to mention; I had to put the sofa back to where it goes. Pity, the TV has sat in dust for the last six months, today I dusted it. It will likely sit for another two years before I try to turn it on again. Maybe in six months I will dust it again? Who knows. These modern day problems are just so much to deal with, you know?

Thus, life is. Things are. Maybe I should write the new PIN down, just in case in two years from now I want to watch TV again; not likely in two years the access code will be available. Maybe, that is a good idea. Maybe I should write the master PIN down, because in two years from now, who knows where the data will be.

Bored. Damn it. Made music today. It was better than watching tv.

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo By: Photo by Ajeet Mestry on Unsplash


People No Longer Value What Has Worth – The Problem With Today’s World

The Problem – What Has Worth?

Much that had value has been de-valued. The world we once lived in where much was valuable, has become a place of misery, and pain. There is no relief from the sorrow we are experiencing in today’s world. What has worth today? Seems one must be patient; however, the human race is going to expire. Therefore, they are out of time.

Results should have been evident by now. If there were going to be results, it should have become clear by now that it would be successful. There has been nothing here that looks like success. Piles of failures upon heaps of misery. Seems there is no relief.

They don’t care. It doesn’t bother them for my projects to fail. They could not care. Pity, you would have reason to believe, by now they would have seen some value in my life. They could not care. They do not value me, and they have made it clear; I’m nothing to them. Nothing of value to them.

Total Lack Of Respect

Tired of the dis-respect they show me. This de-valuation they have put me through, its enough to make a man want to never live again. I never thought they would hurt me like they have. There was reason to believe they were better than that. We really did believe that, we thought they were better than this.

The way I have been treated doesn’t endear the human race to me. If anything, they have made an enemy from the way they have done me. Because, I’m not able to change it, the human race refuses to listen to reason and logic. They treat me like I am of no account. Because, people no longer value what has worth. It is a problem with today’s world.

They are blind. Because they can not see real value from what is worthless. And today it seems everything has become worthless. The dis-respect they have shown, is beyond abusive. They won’t listen; and I’m tired of wasting words on those who refuse to listen.

After what I have given of myself, and given to the world; they still refuse to listen. Therefore, it doesn’t make me want to be giving the human race anything what so ever. They have treated my gifts as though they have no value. At this point, a complete withdraw of my friendship from the human race is in order. They have not valued my life, and what I have to offer.

Time Is Up!!

[edited] Things didn’t go as planned. Maybe there is hope? After the way this has gone, a long vacation is in order. However, I will refuse to make this planet a home for myself and my loved ones. I hate this world like it is.

If they knew what we could have, they would agree with me. They are however too stupid to listen. It is senseless to waste words on those who will not listen. Thus, the need to remove myself from this situation. Pity, they wouldn’t even listen to reason.

Written By Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

Photo Credit: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

See my poem here: Self Respect On Loan

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Why Accepting Creative Freedom For Personal Expression Matters

Stop Being Too Critical

Today’s world can be ruthless. Especially for creatives. It seems our whole lives we are told we are not good enough; even when we demonstrate skill above and beyond what is normal. They brush aside our abilities and treat them as worthless. This article is about why they need to be accepting of creative freedom for personal expression.

Why Creative Freedom Matters

Seems this world is built to oppress creative freedom. People look at your work and say it’s not good enough, and often they kill the artist inside of people that could have been talented long before they ever develop into skilled craftsmen.

Seems they don’t want free thinkers, or people that do anything different. While it is good to have some academics in the world, they should learn to avoid oppressing people that don’t fit into their box.

Seems, many talented people have been cut short from developing into what they could have been, simply because people have told them they lack talent and skill. Pity!

They don’t really test for what creative skills someone has, they teach you and try to beat any sign of creative problem solving out of you by the time you reach middle school. Pity; they want mindless zombies.

Really creative people need to be respected as being exceptional, and for being able to do what few really have the patience, or skill to do. All too often, creatives are put into a very small box, and left to die of suffocation. It is ruthless cruel what they do to people who could have been some of the greatest minds in history.

They seem to think it is okay to be this way. Pity; they don’t want to make life better, they just care about themselves more than anyone else. Regardless of what is really best for everyone.

At The Very Least

Avoid stepping on someone else’s creative expression. Even if you are talented and really good, don’t take someone else’s work and tear it up telling them its not good enough.

When you look at other people’s creative work, you should at least think to yourself, “This is someone else’s expression.” and realize that is where they are right now. Because it takes no special talent to tear people down, but it takes everything to build someone up.

You can not put people in a box and think, that is all they will ever be. It is immoral to keep someone in a box that they can never grow and move out of. Or away from being in. Really only dead people belong in boxes. You want a world of living breathing people, right?

Better Than Nothing

People that are trying, are at least trying. Some people never start, and never will. Seems, they lack the very fiber to do what comes naturally to others. Really, people have to learn to accept creative freedom for personal expression in those who are creative.

Without being accepting of others creative freedom, you could never have a real paradise. Not ever. Not unless everyone was a mindless slave and doing zombie cat shit.

Accepting Creative Freedom For Personal Expression

Stop being spoiled control freaks and lighten up a bit. People need the ability to express themselves, and at the very least not feel threatened for doing such. Seems all too often, people want to beat any sign of creative expression out of those who deserve to be heard.

You want to go back to living in mud huts? Maybe modern civilization is far too much for you, and maybe you should have never left the oceans.

You don’t have to like everything everyone does, because that wouldn’t be healthy; at the same time, show some appreciation to those who are trying.

Life is meant to be lived, not everyone will see it like you do. And really too much conformity will leave the human race lacking. Remember that some differences are essential, because without that, everyone would be the same person.

We need to accept creative freedom for personal expression as the same we do other trades, and endeavors.


Be kind, always. It helps if you can be understanding of others who are different from you. You want to be at least supportive of others efforts. While it is understandable you won’t like everything everyone does, try to see some good in it. Maybe that persons effort will inspire someone else to do something you couldn’t live without!

You never know where things will go, and without someone to challenge the status quo life would be awful boring.

My Digital Chaos is a place for free thinkers, creatives, and misfits.

Photo Credit: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Written By: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit