From A Dark Place

Towards The Light

Mercury is out of retrograde. Thank goodness, that is over now. Maybe life will get moving in the right direction now? Maybe! I am bored right now, thus writing for the enjoyment of writing, without regard to real purpose or having something real important to say.

It does seem, to me, even if I had something important to say; no one would listen. They seem to have no way to value my effort, as though it doesn’t mean much of anything to them.

Bored with the status of my life, bored with the way this life has been treating me; life has been kicking my dog, going to have to do something about that damn cat!

Not much going on. I feel better now, mercury is out of retrograde, and it was a rough few weeks with that one. Maybe other people will lighten up now, and life will start to be better again? One can hope!

I’ve been working on a few projects, some of them are coming alone rather well. My project for my day in photos; it is done, been posting everyday to the site. If you want to check it out: My Day.

My other projects are going well. Finished some tough javascript problems this morning, and have solved most all of them with a very clever working solution. I’m happy about that. My site, Misfit.Ctopher.Me is coming along very well, it’s not really getting any traffic, but its been over a year in development. I do have a few other projects with that site, things I would like to do with it.

My other project, Lord knows; it needs a lot of help. It is a good idea, but it will require a lot of development to reach the status I’m looking for. Seems my projects have all met their maker. Wish they could meet you too!

I’m bored. Not much going on. Been isolated a lot, I mean; an awful lot the last month has been rough going. I am productive, but my social life is not looking all that good. I’m not really sure how to fix the damn problem. You would think, someone would have cared by now? Seems it’s a pity that life is like it is. It could have been really good. You know?

Life has to change, for the better. It has been rough going, the last twenty years; they have all been rough. It has made me tough, it might have also made me mean, but that is subjective.

Not much going on, I cooked a meal tonight. Roast beef melt with cheese, horseradish, and onion. It was good, I ate it before I could photograph it, I guess that I wasn’t thinking when I sat down to eat it, because I forgot to take a photo. These digital lifestyles can get difficult to keep up with, after a while, I guess you get into the habit.

I had other things on my mind, and not going to elaborate on that.

Bored! Life is, Things are. Trying to find some way to deal with that concept. It is easy to deal with, if you have the right frame of mind. Sometimes, it helps to be accepting of the situation, that things are the way that they are, and deal with it.

Still, I have some parts of my life, I would really like to see change for the better. I’m not sure, it seems my dreams have become stale, and I’m working on finding some new dreams. I’ve been avoiding making music for a few months now, I would like to get back into the groove; but it seems a ways off.

I have mostly been doing heavy duty programming the last month, with a few projects completed, I’m even learning javascript. That is something I have put off, like twenty years. I have found that I’m getting the hang of it these days. Thank goodness for Google.

The dogs are happy, if life wasn’t kicking them. Going to have to do something about that cat! Bring your dog, he can play the wolf for the evening. We have two spoiled doggies, that could use some time with another doggie.

Bored. I’ve been putting off writing for a month now, mostly because; no one reads, regardless of how much effort I put into it, or how well I’m writing, it seems no one cares anymore.

I had hoped that my writing would have proved my sanity, somehow, that seems impossible. They don’t give a damn about my effort. Pity, I wanted my life better, and I wanted it a long time ago.

I’ve lost weight, I am now down to about 167, which I am very happy about. Its starting to feel good to be thin again. It has been twenty years since I was down to this weight. I’m glad it has started coming off. It is a big relief to be losing weight.

My hair is long these days, and I am happier than I have been in fifteen years. That is doing really very well, from where I’ve been, I can say that I’ve come an awful long ways from where I was.

This photo was from a few weeks ago. My hair has gotten long, much longer than it has ever been. That is for sure. I keep the sides short, and the back short too. It is almost 12″ on top. I think its a nice look. Now, if I could only get a job, I need a job man.

That is about the summary. Life, in a nutshell.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

Photo Credit: Photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash

Posse Bonus Post, Something Happy?

This is your posse bonus post this month. This photo of the dolphins was just too much to pass up, I had to post it. It is just so darn cool. Wish that I could get some dolphin time, alas life is.

There is some good to be had, if you look for it; sometimes, you have to really do some searching to find it. It is out there, like a formula hiding in plain sight. Some fractals are easier than others.

It has been snowing the last twenty-four hours. Nothing major, just some snow flurries. It has been a nice change, this winter is being kind thus far. New year, seems like the life we want is playing hide-and-seek from us. Pity!

Music is keeping me company, and running at more than 50%, I’ve been busy working on my site: Misfit.Ctopher.Me. It now has a feature to “Like” the photos in the main page, and keeps count of how many likes each post gets. It wasn’t too difficult, took me two days of effort to make it happen. I’m glad it worked out, I think its pretty cool, and neat stuff.

Not much going on; it seems, no matter how much effort I put forth, it is all going into a huge vacuum. Where is everyone at? They must be watching TV, or playing video games. I hope they are out having fun, that would be good. Life is meant to be lived; you should live it to the max!

Seems, I’ve been in a better mood the last few days; times are tough, life is rough. Wish it were going to get a lot better, right quick too! Thank God there is music; I would be so lost, banging on trash cans; trying to make music.

The human race, seems to be going in circles. No one can make their minds up about much of anything. Pity! Maybe it will get better for everyone one of these days, real soon!

Haven’t heard from anyone in months. It is a lot of isolation. More than my fair share; you want some? If I could bottle and sell isolation to people for a profit, wow; that would be something! I have plenty of it; if you want some, write me!

If only my isolation felt as good as this photo looks, I could use some of that, maybe just dangling my feet off the cliff looks good to me. How mighty the truth can be! Nature doesn’t lie.

I made a video, you should check it out; I think it is really very good. It is on YouTube, and here is the embedded version, if you want to watch it now!

https://youtu.be/oEB4Jn4vMwc

This was my latest project, which I spent an afternoon working on, and a few cups of coffee to complete. I think, it turned out really very well. Some people, think my voice isn’t very good; like to see them smoke two packs a day and still have a voice.

Trying to find meaning; seems this world is made of poison, trying not to let the haters make me meaner than I already am. Life needed to change, and for the better. Such is life.

Have to let this make me better, working towards some goals. I would like to see some results from my effort, yet; everyone is so darn busy these days, seems they don’t have time for me.

Read all the great posts on my blog, some of my writing has gotten a lot better, I feel my progress is very likely, REMARKABLE. If you saw my writing a few years ago, compared to my current work; I think it has come a long ways in the last month.

Have a nice day!! Thanks for reading!!

Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

What Is Advantageous?

Not All Things Are Advantageous

What is advantageous in this world? After giving it some level of thought, there are some points I can make about this subject.

The most advantageous options are ones that don’t have a disadvantage.

Seems everyone has some dis-advantage in life, but how we deal with them determine how much of a dis-advantage it really is. What may stop one person in their tracks is nothing more than a mild inconvenience to others. So the conditioning that people have and how their minds work may determine how we handle problems.

There are things that have positive effects, with no down side. Drinking a cup of coffee when you wake up has the advantage of helping you wake up. However, drinking ten cups of coffee before trying to go to sleep has a real downside.

So you have to be smart enough to understand cause and effect, and knowing when, what, where, and how.

I was standing the shower thinking about this, and some song by Janes Addiction came to mind. “What is advantageous?” Some things look good, some things feel good, some things are painful. What advantage is there in life? Seems we should be able to make use of most things in life. Turns water to coldest possible setting, that will wake you up.

Laying on the sofa giving it further thought, what really is advantageous in life? It seems some things are good for us, some things aren’t so good for us. Having a society that is sober and drug free, has some advantage. If everyone was drunk or drugged out of their minds, society wouldn’t function very well.

At the same time, just as people think smoking cigarettes is a major disadvantage, as they feel getting sick and dying isn’t an advantage; it seems at some point in the lives of everyone living; they all eventually get sick and die.

So what is advantageous? That which never puts you at a dis-advantage. Then, how does anyone make it through life? Seems everyone at some point is faced with something that challenges them to grow, to learn, and to adapt.

Anything that puts you at a long term dis-advantage would be likely a very bad thing. Some people aren’t given choices in the matter, which is because life can be very unfair. So it is advantageous to do things that improve your life.

I think something that is advantageous would be something that would have good results if anyone were to do so well. There are some things that some people do better than others, so knowing your abilities helps a lot. Not everyone is going to benefit from jumping out of an airplane at twenty thousand feet. Some may find it is very beneficial; some people may find it a career limiting maneuver. To each their own, do everything within your abilities.

Doing what is best, requires that a person have the ability to reason and use logic to understand the full effects of their actions; long before they set out to make something happen.

What advantage is there in being poor? Seems in the long run, its usually a dis-advantage. Yet, some people have come from poverty to rise in life, and do very well for themselves. They learned that they must work for what they want, and have standards.

So poverty in itself isn’t really anything more than a setback. While, being totally stupid; is a major disadvantage. It’s pretty tough to get smarter when you’re as dumb as a rock.

There might be an upside to it; but only as long as you believe that ignorance is bliss.

Do what is advantageous for everyone in the long run, and society will benefit for a long time. You have to have understanding about cause and effect; and the long term goals that need to be accomplished. Anything that has long term dis-advantages would be something to avoid at all costs.

Be wise, feed your head; just make sure it’s not poison.

Sometimes in life, it seems you are screwed no matter what course of action you take, go left; you are screwed. Go right; you are screwed. You are not able to go back; the only thing you can do is go strait. Be brave; have courage. Live so well, no one will ever say you didn’t try.

At some point; everyone will find some problem in life, how you deal with it; that is what matters. Some people train their whole lives for one moment. Do what you can to make life better for everyone.

Photo Credit: Photo by Jocelyn Morales on Unsplash

Written By Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

Life is, Things Are

On The Bounce, Stow that crap!

Life has been strange the last year. What most people don’t like about the last year, is what my life has been like for many years. This is really nothing new to me. Same crap, different day. You know?

However, my point about this year being strange still stands. I’ve seen a lot of projects come and go. Sometimes they turn out good. Other times, they turn out great; yet, no one cares either way. Seems people completely disregard my effort in the face of adversity. Is that true?

I’m bored with working for likes, or shares. No one really cares. I would however like to do something that wows you. Not sure what that would ever be, or if its even possible. Somehow I have reason to believe such things are not even possible in this day and age.

What most people fail to realize, life has made me tough. It might have even made me mean. I would like to see you live my life and not become a monster. I think it would destroy most people. I really do.

Yet, here I am. Still here after all these years. I would like to do some projects that make people smile. Some of what I have done is for myself and people like me. Some may understand it someday, if they really work at it.

Tough Life

Life has made me tough. Most people are never faced with the problems I have been forced to deal with in my life. I hope that you never really have to experience that either. It has been hell.

Still, I have answers if you are faced with impossible times like I have had to deal with. It is not easy; yet, it can be done. The skill it requires is beyond what most people will understand. They have no way to understand it. Because they lack the life experience to know the full story.

Most people, they eat what they are given. Most don’t think about much, and many are perfectly happy with that. I’ve had some failures in making my projects really stand out. Seems people don’t want much from me. Seems they don’t even want my friendship these days. Pity.

I’m bored with the status quo of my life. This living isn’t really living. It is an existence of sorts, I guess house cats would like it. However a wolf would find it a living death to endure this much.

The real problem is nothing new. This isolation has been happening for more than twenty years. At this point, I’m not even sure if there is any way to fix it. It is something I would like to have fixed right. Damn tired of this isolation like it is.

More to be done

Still, there are things to be done. Maybe life will change someday and this mess will be behind us all? Maybe! Bored with the way things are. Feeling like no one will ever care. Pity!

Still, check my projects out. They wait for you.

Photo Credit: Photo by ALEXANDRE DINAUT on Unsplash

Life explained!

The creative process hasn’t finished yet. Think of it as using a three dimensional printer to make a three dimensional printer. Except the process is doing something else. That’s life explained in the simple terms of it.

If you were going to be building something large and complex. You would naturally want to work on small pieces and do a perfect job while completing each piece with perfection. Then you would move to the next piece that needs done and after the whole process has completed. Then we would have a finished product that is perfect and fit for a king.

So when I look at life and the process that we are living in, and thinking about what we’re doing with life. The creation process isn’t finished yet. We are just waiting on each piece of the puzzle to be completed in a timely and perfect manner.

It’s not easy, life is tough. What we’re making is going to be done right, the first time. And even if we have to make history repeat itself time and time again to complete the perfect finish on each and every piece. We are building something great. When it’s done it will be done right and be perfect.

Don’t Doubt; Have some faith.

Damn it, I’m smart enough to build it. And patient enough to wait for the process to complete. But damn it I Didn’t do by myself. I had help. When it’s done everyone gets their fair credit and no one will be left behind or forgotten. Everyone will be there and life will be better for everyone when it’s done.

It may be possible if you think about it, to have a being that is old enough and wise enough to have lived a million lives as a human. While having all that experience and knowledge and having done it right. You would wake up with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom and enough experience that when real life started you would be not only careful and happy enough to do right. You would be careful enough not to hurt anyone.

Be Kind

If you think about what the lives of a million people on earth would be like and the sadness and gladness from each of those lives and times. You would understand that the combined experiences would make you not only stronger, but a better being in the long run.

The beginning is so important that it can not be left to chance. You have to understand that god doesn’t play dice with the universe. What is being done is being done by The True God for our benefit in the future and the life that we will all have. When the creation process completes everyone will be well aware of the process having finished. It’s not over until it’s done!

Be Aware, Have some Care!

Please be aware, please have a care. Be kind, the cruel life that these people have been putting other people through has been enough shit to fill a dump in hell. Please start being better to other people and start living your life like you mean it for the good of everyone. Add some joy to people’s lives. Make someone’s day better. Not talking just a smile, but something that warms their heart and mind and soul.

Please be aware, when it’s finished, it’s really done. It’s not over until it’s done right and everything is complete. So be aware, have a care. Be kind and wait for the process to finish. Everyone will be happy in the end.

But the three dimensional printer, you know the wind and rain all do something in the building process. You know God doesn’t make junk. So it’s going to be done right. Just keep being kind and come hell or high water. Life will continue until the process is done.

Process

If you think I’m crazy, your right. If you think I’m insane, please check yourself into the nearest hospital. I’m just fine. If your really believe that I’m wrong and don’t know what I’m talking about and that I’m full of shit.

Then you have to read my journals of four point five million words. Then I want you to endure the shit i have had to think, feel, and believe. After that if you still don’t believe me, then fuck you. I wanna see the look on your face when it’s done.

If that doesn’t satisfy your understanding of life. Or if however you feel that’s not life explained very well, please consult god for advice.

Does anyone bother to think about life?