You know that feeling when you are in the zone, that magical place where your flow, and style just naturally express themselves. Sometimes you can have that same thing with another person, where the feeling just flows, and feels good.
Sometimes when you get into the zone, it’s just pure magic, as though you could handle the situation just like it is, for what it is. Sometimes people have that zone, where it just feels right. What is missing from my life, is the people to share those feelings with. I know now, this can never come from other humans. They simply lack the fiber to be companions.
Yet, that doesn’t mean I should have to go without. There should have been someone in my life that made this feel less like torture. Seems, I haven’t been in the zone, not with anyone in a long time. I’ve lacked the life that could provide those things.
So, I get my kicks from computers. They do what they are told, when you tell them what to do. They don’t often talk back, or make a fuss about the work loads you give them, and they make pretty pictures. Sounds prefect!
I’m bored, this isolation is so thick, if it were shit; you couldn’t stir it with a stick. Wanted my life to be better a long time ago; seems the only thing I have gotten is a lot of pain. To the point, I feel my schooling as a masochist has completed to graduate levels.
However, I tire of the discomfort, the pain, and daily suffering that comes with it. It seems all too heavy to carry such burdens, because the proof is, they are heavy.
Seems there isn’t other shoulders to bear the burden, or carry on with me; such is life, one shouldn’t rail at the crosses they have to carry. This life, this living death, seems like it is truly unjust. I never wanted life to be like it is. I wanted a lot better for myself. Pity, seems no one cared what I wanted.
Far Too Late!!
Not much that can be done about it now, it’s far too late to make it right. These burdens have been far too much for a sane person to have to carry, and even more so for a disabled person.
Some geek, seems I didn’t have any other choice, as though, I have worked with the only tools I have, and learned to master them, at great expense. I wish others would take an interest in my work, as my work is the only thing that I have in this life; pity, it seems no one could care.
No one to talk with, nor spend time with me. This isolation is hurting me, yet; no one cares. They refuse to make it better, and although I have many times requested better treatment, they still refuse to make allowances for me.
I’m not sure what kind of world they want to make, but it doesn’t seem like one that is worth living in; yet, we want to change this to be something we can live with.
The solution is not to change to meet the conditions. Not at all, because they want warm sacks of shit, and nothing more from those among them. The only real option is to make them change their ways, or leave this world.
Being a geek, you learn a lot. You learn, it’s not possible to live like a rock star while coding HTML. There are good days behind the keyboard, I guess; if you like racking your brain, for pleasure.
The über geek is something to be looked up to, as they have the mastery of being computer guru’s that will someday make your life that much easier. You want to be nice to them, as mistreating them will make your life difficult.
Now for a word of advice, if you are wasting your life; stop! Stop now and start doing something with your time, energy, and effort to make life better for everyone someday.
We need people that will make a difference in life. Life has to get a lot better, and right quick too. Do what you can to make life worth living, for yourself and your kind. Don’t neglect the starving dog at his masters gate; as it predicts the ruin of the state.
No one is reading, thus; you get to eat what I dish up. This is what is on the table today. Hope you like it.
Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!
You can see my days in photos at: My Day
Photo Credit: Photo by conner bowe on Unsplash